Afterbirth

When the hard part begins.

Cravings


An excuse to hog, hog and hog your way through pregnancy.


Dilation


One of those things a pregnant woman has to take her doctor's word for.


Elastiphobia


Fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Stretch Marks."


First Trimester


The first three months of pregnancy when you wonder, "Is it too late to hire a surrogate mother?"



Maternity Clothes


What a pregnant woman wears to show people there's a reason she's fat.


Miracle


1. The birth of a baby.
2. The fact that you lived to tell about it.


Pregnant Pause


The amount of time it takes for a nine-month pregnant woman to get out of a chair.


Prenatal


When your life was still your own.


Pushing


Final effort to get a ten-pound baby through an opening the size of a dime. }


Second Trimester


The time when you ask the question, "Will my husband notice if I eat this gallon of ice cream and the dish of biryani before he gets home?"


Third trimester


The final months of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much longer can I keep from waddling?"