Sex during pregnancy is usually ok if both partners
are healthy, in particular the pregnant partner. Sex
during pregnancy does not always mean intercourse;
it includes giving each other a massage, bathing together,
and having together moments alone where you get to
hug, kiss, hold hands or simply talk. Frequency of
sex is not an issue in healthy pregnancies. Pregnancy
is an important time for couples to grow closer. Sometimes
there are problems but to prevent sexual miscommunication,
it is imperative that you and your partner continue
your verbal communication. It is important to share
feelings, thoughts, fears and desires. This way you
remove confusion and keep the relationship happy and
calm during the pregnancy months.
How pregnancy
affects you sexually
Generally pregnant women experience one of the two
sex drive patterns. In the first, desire lessens
in the first trimester, picks up in the second and
declines again in the final trimester. The first
trimester has its own set of problems such as nausea
and fatigue. During the third trimester, weight
gain, enlarged abdomen, tender breasts may create
discomfort and disinterest in sex. In the second
instance, a gradual decrease in desire for sex is
observed as pregnancy progresses. Some women experience
enhanced sex drive owing to their raging hormones;
others feel less attractive and so sex is the last
thing on their minds. Whichever the case it is important
to open the channels of communication with your
partner and bring out your feelings in the open.
Six most common fears about
sex during pregnancy:
Fear # 1 - Miscarriage
This fear tops the list. Most
couples are especially afraid of loss during the
first trimester when the threat of miscarrying is
always the greatest. However according to research
the most common cause for miscarriage are genetic
factors and infections. In the absence of these
2 conditions, sex during pregnancy isn't likely
to cause any problems in a healthy pregnancy. However
if they exist, then sex or no sex, you could miscarry
anyway. The bottom line: Always ask your doctor
if your pregnancy is at risk and seek doctor's advice
on sexual issues.
Fear # 2 - Premature Labor
he predominant fear during the
second and especially the third trimester is premature
labor. Research has shown that preterm labor is
less common among pregnant women who had intercourse
at least once a week. Also, sex during pregnancy
is safe and has a protective effect against early
labor in all but a very small group of women (those
carrying more than one baby or having placental
problems). The bottom line: If your pregnancy is
complication-free and not at risk for premature
labor then sex through the end is okay for you -
particularly if you avoid the male-superior or missionary
position after 16 weeks until baby's birth because
the weight of uterus restricts circulation. If you
experience extreme cramping after intercourse, bring
up issue with your doctor before trying again.
Fear # 3 - Hurting the Baby
Third on the list, but it should
be the least of your concerns. Experts opine that
it is impossible to harm the fetus in the uterus
because your baby literally floats in a pool of
fluid and your abdominal wall and your entire pelvic
structure protects this pool. This cushions your
baby against everything except direct blows to your
stomach. In addition, your cervical mucus plug guards
the uterus opening, preventing sperm and bacteria
from coming into contact with the baby. The bottom
line: Sex during pregnancy won't endanger baby.
Your baby won't even know what the two of you are
up to.
Fear # 4 - Bleeding and Cramping
Cramping or bleeding following
sex is not caused by the act but happens due to
other reasons. Bleeding in early pregnancy occurs
in as many as 50% of all pregnancies and the most
common cause is a fragile cervix. During pregnancy
the cervix descends lower into the vagina, and its
tiny capillaries can sometimes break during intercourse,
resulting in small amount of spotting lasting between
10 mins to an hour following the act. Cramping,
mild uterine contractions following sexual stimulation,
is not something to worry about. It generally subsides
after an hour following sex and is not considered
dangerous. The bottom line: If mild bleeding or
cramping results after sexual intercourse, bed rest
for an hour or two is recommended during which time
these symptoms should ebb. If they don't or if they
are severe, call your doctor right away. In fact
it is advisable to mention any episodes of bleeding
or cramping to your doctor, no matter how slight.
Fear # 5 - Orgasm
Cramping and slight spotting
are often triggered when pregnant women climax.
This has set the fear alarm in women. However these
fears are unfounded in majority of the cases. The
bottom line: Orgasms do cause uterine contractions
but they do not cause cervical dilation and hence
do not initiate labor. Again, do mention any incidents
of cramping or spotting to your doctor.
Fear # 6 - Oral sex
In reality the only real danger
associated with oral sex is if your partner has
cold sore on or around the lips, or if he harbors
any dental infection. These can be passed on to
you and create problems during the later part of
pregnancy and /or delivery. In the same token do
not perform oral sex on your partner if he has any
evidence of an STD.
Do not allow any blowing into
the vagina during oral sex. This can cause air bubble,
sometimes powerful enough to block a blood vessel,
resulting in death for you and your baby.
When to avoid sexual activity
There are times and situations
when sex is not a good idea while you are expecting.
For some women problems develop right at the start
of pregnancy. With others, sex during the second
and third trimesters becomes a risky venture. Do
not ignore your doctor's advice if sexual abstinence
has been advised. However be certain that you have
understood doctor's instructions on why sex is being
prohibited and for how long. Make sure you consult
your doctor in the event of any of the following
red flags:
• If you experience vaginal bleeding in any
amount and at any point of your pregnancy. Leave it
to your doctor to decide what should be done and what
should not.
• If you are diagnosed with an incompetent cervix,
dilations occur prematurely increasing the risk of
premature labor or even miscarriage
• If you have a history of premature delivery,
you are a likely candidate for preterm labor in your
current pregnancy.
• If you are diagnosed with placenta previa,
the risk of early cervical dilation or premature labor
is high.
• If you are carrying more than one baby.
