Bonding with your baby (preterm or term baby) is developed
over time (read years), certainly not instantly. More
than a term baby, your preemie needs extra warmth,
extra nourishment and extra protection from infections.
Caring for your preemie is undoubtedly a difficult
task (because of the constraints) and the existing
lack of privacy while in the hospital but one of the
best ways to create closeness is through touch. Circumstances
may have robbed you of the chance to bond at birth,
but you can certainly make up for that by initiating
the process before taking baby home.
A Daunting Task but Important
• As parents of premature babies the scary job
of forging closeness is understandably more challenging
because of baby's frailty, and added to that the possibility
of a premature baby having to spend time in the NICU.
This deprives the chance for immediate access and
contact between parents and baby versus what happens
in a 'normal setting'.
• Even if your baby is in a special care unit
it is good to be there for your baby as much as possible.
Active participation (as soon as your baby is out
of immediate danger) involving nappy changing, feeding
and providing comfort all engender touch, an essential
form of communication at this level. Learn the essentials
from the nurse and give yourself the chance to slip
comfortably into the role of caretaking while still
in the hospital.
• Talking while she's in the NICU even when
she appears not to be listening is essential. By not
stopping this one-way communication you are allowing
your baby to recognize your voice (which was heard
while in the utero) and this will provide your baby
with the comfort of a familiar sound. Speak softly
since your baby's ears at this point are sound-sensitive.
• In the more 'serious' situation, NICU conditions
make it difficult for relationship building. In these
instances medical concerns prevent parents from touching,
holding, feeding and even interacting with their infant.
It is circumstantial and certainly doesn't make you
a bad parent. Focus instead on spending time in whatever
way you can (just by being there and watching your
baby) to achieve some understanding of your child,
some closeness; the rest will build over time when
you bring baby home.
• Finally most parents hold off contact totally
because of the fear that their baby may not survive.
This is a mistake because the odds are very high that
your baby will survive to become healthy and normal.
Don't regret later.
| Lift
your baby out of the incubator and snuggle
him against your chest; this kind of skin
contact allows not only your baby to feel
and smell you but also to calm his breathing
and boost his growth. |
|
Things You can do later
at home
Kangaroo Care: The most important
fundamental communication is touch. Once baby comes
home, find opportunities to hold your undressed baby
against your bare chest. Both parents should do this
to develop physical and emotional closeness. According
to experts this form of contact promotes parent-child
bonding which is very good for baby's growth and early
development, all the more necessary for a preemie.
Continue kangaroo care for at least 3 months though
some parents feel comfortable doing it till the baby
is a year old or more.
Tips
• This is a private moment so pick a time when
you will have least interruptions to enable alone
time with your baby.
• Choose a comfortable reclining chair or you
can even kangaroo in bed.
• Wear comfortable clothing.
• Keep a diaper on your baby to prevent unwanted
wetness.
• Some mothers may choose to breastfeed during
these sessions or kangaroo after baby's feed. Either
way skin-to-skin is good for baby's digestive system.
Infant Massage:
Massage is reassuring, comforting and communicates
love and affection. Research shows that by daily massaging
your baby her growth is enhanced, weight gain is improved
and also a good way to lull baby to sleep. (Sleep
is important for baby's growth.) According to some
experts massage is said to improve an older baby's
speech development. It is important to learn correct
infant massage techniques and incorporate it in your
daily agenda with your baby. Talking to your baby
using a soothing voice is beneficial.
Playtime:
With an older baby, (2-3 months corrected age), play
sessions are a good way to deepen your bond with baby.
It is a fun way to explore each other's world - you
get a chance to learn about his ability and he your
personality. It is also a good way to de-stress, especially
for parents who are too worried about their baby's
development. As your baby grows these play sessions
become all the more important for bonding and development.
| Fathers
should become involved with their preemies
at the earliest. They are not as fragile
that you have to stay detached. Get into
the thick of things by attending development
appointments and see what you can do to
help. |
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