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21 months Old Baby (81 to 84 weeks)

Parents of toddlers often voice concerns over socialization issues. On the simplest level this refers to helping a toddler get along with others - friends and relatives. On a broader aspect socialization encompasses different kinds of abilities that allow a child to function in society with some degree of self-reliance. In this regard socialization includes self-help skills like eating, dressing and toileting.


Things your toddler can do AT THIS STAGE

• build a tower of 2 cubes

• point to 1 body part when asked

Things your toddler may possibly do AT THIS STAGE

• kick ball forward

• identify two pictures by pointing

• remove an article of clothing
Things your toddler may possibly do AT THIS STAGE

• brush teeth with help

Things your toddler may even be able to do AT THIS STAGE

• put an article of clothing


The art of Comforting

Giving comfort to children is as basic and essential a part of parenting as giving nourishment; your child needs adequate amounts of both in order to thrive. Much of the comfort comes naturally to mothers in the form of a quick hug, a touch of the lips or the brushing away of the tears. Usually that works but on some occasions more is needed to make your toddler feel ok again - a little extra thought, effort and time is required to drive the blues out of the door, particularly as he grows older and more complex.

Be aware of your power:

To a two or three year old, you are omnipotent; for now your reassuring words and loving touch carry a lot of weight. When you cradle your toddler in your arms and say, "everything will be just fine", she will magically feel reassured. That is why your brand of comfort is the best medicine for whatever that is bothering your baby - be it physical or emotional.

Be calm in the storm:

Nothing upsets like an upset parent; nothing alarms a child more than a parent who is alarmed. So though it is natural for you to feel your child's pain, it is best if you learn to disguise it. You will be more effective in handling a hurt child if you remain calm and if this calm is transmitted in your words, tone of voice and facial expressions and body language, your child will pick up on those vibes. Toddlers whose parents don't overreact are able to pick themselves up after a fall.

Don't pretend there is no storm either:

You shouldn't ignore your child's pain totally either, especially when it is an emotional pain. Toddlers are small and vulnerable; to them everything is big including their pain. By dismissing their problems as something trivial all the time, you are conveying that their feelings don't count and that can hurt in the long run.

Comfort conditionally:

Children deserve consolation when injured even if their behavior has been less than desirable. Comfort your child even after they fall off from an off limits chair or swing.

Lend a listening ear:

Encourage your child to talk about his pain or feelings even if his communication is unclear and halting. Although it is difficult to decipher what he is trying to communicate during times of stress, your efforts to recognize and validate your child's feelings will be something he will appreciate.

Listen but don't lecture:

Toddlers need your support not your lectures. Be aware though that too much of sympathy can turn your child into a dependant, self-pitying kid.

Don't try to make everything better:

If your child broke his toy car, it is ok to sympathize but it is not a good idea to buy a new one immediately. If children don't learn from their mistakes, they are likely to repeat them over and over again.

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Right and Wrong


It is their parents a toddler looks up to when unsure about something. Its their parents to tell them that is ok to play with the toy in the waiting room of the clinic; it is the parents who tell who prod them to say thank you to their aunty for the new shoes; it is their parents who remind them to say good bye to their neighbor when leaving for school. According to research, young children are motivated to behave morally by self-interest and fear of negative consequences. In the next stage moral behavior is based on a desire for approval, a respect for higher authority and an understanding for the maintenance of social order. It is not until the teen years does true sensitivity to the needs of others or a real concept of justice and fairness develop. Just because it is too soon to expect consistent ethical behavior from your toddler doesn't imply that its too soon to start imparting such values; if you wait until your child is old enough to understand the philosophy of right and wrong, you have waited too long.

Explain that actions have consequences:

While it is important to tell your toddler it is wrong to throw the block at his friend, it is also important to add the reason why it is wrong. While it is important to tell your toddler that it is right to wait for your turn instead of pushing through the queue, it is also important to add why it is right. Developing empathy is key to developing a conscience.

Don't lecture or preach:

A simple explanation will do. And remember, you are here to guide and not to judge.

Ask the right questions:

Involve your toddler from the start in his own moral education; stimulate thinking about the consequences of actions. When you have read a book on morals, explain in your own simple way so that your toddler can understand. Ask for your toddler's point of view when a character in a story or program has done something obviously right or wrong.

Fault behavior not people:

Don't shame your toddler or make her feel bad or inadequate for failing to do something right; criticize the behavior not the child. Guide your toddler to evaluate the behavior of others as well.

Set a conscientious example:

An ounce of example vastly outweighs a pound of instruction; let your conscience be your toddler's guide for the time being. Eventually your child will develop a conscience of her own.

The Extras

Promoting your child's Physical Development

Although he may still be wobbly on his feet, he will continue to acquire new skills over the next few years to enable him to become master of his home and outdoor environment.

• Let your child go for short walks without his pushchair. Give him freedom to wander but supervise him closely.

• Take him to safe open spaces. Play chasing games, racing games.

• Teach him to bend his knees or pick things up; let him practise kicking and throwing a ball.

• Encourage your child to learn to jump by dancing to music with him.

• Encourage your child to climb slides; climbing enhances his control over his movements and help in his balance.


Manipulation

Hand-eye coordination is involved in a lot of the physical skills that your child needs to learn. She will be able to use her hands and fingers when her manipulative skills improve; she will learn to build bricks, turn the pages of the book, drawing, writing, combing her own hair and using the spoon and fork. These skills have to be learned so it is important to give your toddler the opportunity to practice them over and over.


Promoting manipulation

• Show her how to unscrew lids, thread things on string or lace, pour water, turn pages, rip paper and so on.

• Teach her how to do things herself such as using a spoon and taking her socks off.

• Provide her with building blocks and stacking toys

• Work at puzzles, drawing and painting together using a variety of pens, crayons and brushes.


Intellectual Development

Also known as cognitive or mental development, this area includes the mastery of communication skills, speech in particular, using imagination; remembering things, learning new skills such as reading, drawing and counting and so on. You care promote your child's intellectual development in a number of ways:


Language

• Always look at your child when talking to her and use short, simple sentences.

• Listen to her when she is talking

• Encourage her to pretend play with her doll or teddy to help her develop her linguistic and creative development.
• When you are out with your child describe things to her; for example "there is a big car", "there is a white cat in the park'.

• Look at books with your child and point out what the characters are doing.

• Expand on what your child says. For example, if he says "banana" tell him: "bananas are good to eat".


Color knowledge

• Teach your child about colors when doing housework. For example, tell her you are "vacuuming a red carpet" or "scrubbing the white basin" or "cooking in a black pot".

• When dressing him, tell him the color of his shirt or jeans or socks or shoes.

• Tell her about the colors outside - the blue sky, the dog is black, the green grass, the red and pink flowers and so on.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
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