Parents of toddlers often voice concerns over socialization
issues. On the simplest level this refers to helping
a toddler get along with others - friends and relatives.
On a broader aspect socialization encompasses different
kinds of abilities that allow a child to function
in society with some degree of self-reliance. In this
regard socialization includes self-help skills like
eating, dressing and toileting.
Things your toddler can
do AT THIS STAGE
• build a tower of 2 cubes
• point to 1 body part when asked
Things
your toddler may possibly do AT THIS STAGE
• kick ball forward
• identify two pictures by pointing
• remove an article of clothing
Things your toddler may possibly do AT THIS STAGE
• brush teeth with help
Things your toddler may
even be able to do AT THIS STAGE
• put an article of clothing
The art of Comforting
Giving comfort to children is
as basic and essential a part of parenting as giving
nourishment; your child needs adequate amounts of
both in order to thrive. Much of the comfort comes
naturally to mothers in the form of a quick hug,
a touch of the lips or the brushing away of the
tears. Usually that works but on some occasions
more is needed to make your toddler feel ok again
- a little extra thought, effort and time is required
to drive the blues out of the door, particularly
as he grows older and more complex.
Be aware of your
power:
To a two or three year old, you are omnipotent;
for now your reassuring words and loving touch carry
a lot of weight. When you cradle your toddler in
your arms and say, "everything will be just fine",
she will magically feel reassured. That is why your
brand of comfort is the best medicine for whatever
that is bothering your baby - be it physical or
emotional.
Be calm in the storm:
Nothing upsets like an upset parent; nothing alarms
a child more than a parent who is alarmed. So though
it is natural for you to feel your child's pain,
it is best if you learn to disguise it. You will
be more effective in handling a hurt child if you
remain calm and if this calm is transmitted in your
words, tone of voice and facial expressions and
body language, your child will pick up on those
vibes. Toddlers whose parents don't overreact are
able to pick themselves up after a fall.
Don't pretend there
is no storm either:
You shouldn't ignore your child's pain totally either,
especially when it is an emotional pain. Toddlers
are small and vulnerable; to them everything is
big including their pain. By dismissing their problems
as something trivial all the time, you are conveying
that their feelings don't count and that can hurt
in the long run.
Comfort conditionally:
Children deserve consolation when injured even if
their behavior has been less than desirable. Comfort
your child even after they fall off from an off
limits chair or swing.
Lend a listening
ear:
Encourage your child to talk about his pain or feelings
even if his communication is unclear and halting.
Although it is difficult to decipher what he is
trying to communicate during times of stress, your
efforts to recognize and validate your child's feelings
will be something he will appreciate.
Listen but don't
lecture:
Toddlers need your support not your lectures. Be
aware though that too much of sympathy can turn
your child into a dependant, self-pitying kid.
Don't try to make
everything better:
If your child broke his toy car, it is ok to sympathize
but it is not a good idea to buy a new one immediately.
If children don't learn from their mistakes, they
are likely to repeat them over and over again.
Right and Wrong
It is their parents a toddler looks up to when unsure
about something. Its their parents to tell them
that is ok to play with the toy in the waiting room
of the clinic; it is the parents who tell who prod
them to say thank you to their aunty for the new
shoes; it is their parents who remind them to say
good bye to their neighbor when leaving for school.
According to research, young children are motivated
to behave morally by self-interest and fear of negative
consequences. In the next stage moral behavior is
based on a desire for approval, a respect for higher
authority and an understanding for the maintenance
of social order. It is not until the teen years
does true sensitivity to the needs of others or
a real concept of justice and fairness develop.
Just because it is too soon to expect consistent
ethical behavior from your toddler doesn't imply
that its too soon to start imparting such values;
if you wait until your child is old enough to understand
the philosophy of right and wrong, you have waited
too long.
Explain that actions
have consequences:
While it is important to tell your toddler it is
wrong to throw the block at his friend, it is also
important to add the reason why it is wrong. While
it is important to tell your toddler that it is
right to wait for your turn instead of pushing through
the queue, it is also important to add why it is
right. Developing empathy is key to developing a
conscience.
Don't lecture or
preach:
A simple explanation will do. And remember, you
are here to guide and not to judge.
Ask the right questions:
Involve your toddler from the start in his own moral
education; stimulate thinking about the consequences
of actions. When you have read a book on morals,
explain in your own simple way so that your toddler
can understand. Ask for your toddler's point of
view when a character in a story or program has
done something obviously right or wrong.
Fault behavior not
people:
Don't shame your toddler or make her feel bad or
inadequate for failing to do something right; criticize
the behavior not the child. Guide your toddler to
evaluate the behavior of others as well.
Set a conscientious
example:
An ounce of example vastly outweighs a pound of
instruction; let your conscience be your toddler's
guide for the time being. Eventually your child
will develop a conscience of her own.
The Extras
Promoting
your child's Physical Development
Although he may still be wobbly on his feet, he
will continue to acquire new skills over the next
few years to enable him to become master of his
home and outdoor environment.
• Let your child go for short walks without
his pushchair. Give him freedom to wander but supervise
him closely.
• Take him to safe open spaces. Play chasing
games, racing games.
• Teach him to bend his knees or pick things
up; let him practise kicking and throwing a ball.
• Encourage your child to learn to jump by
dancing to music with him.
• Encourage your child to climb slides; climbing
enhances his control over his movements and help
in his balance.
Manipulation
Hand-eye coordination is involved in a lot of the
physical skills that your child needs to learn.
She will be able to use her hands and fingers when
her manipulative skills improve; she will learn
to build bricks, turn the pages of the book, drawing,
writing, combing her own hair and using the spoon
and fork. These skills have to be learned so it
is important to give your toddler the opportunity
to practice them over and over.
Promoting manipulation
• Show her how to unscrew lids, thread things
on string or lace, pour water, turn pages, rip paper
and so on.
• Teach her how to do things herself such
as using a spoon and taking her socks off.
• Provide her with building blocks and stacking
toys
• Work at puzzles, drawing and painting together
using a variety of pens, crayons and brushes.
Intellectual Development
Also known as cognitive or mental development, this
area includes the mastery of communication skills,
speech in particular, using imagination; remembering
things, learning new skills such as reading, drawing
and counting and so on. You care promote your child's
intellectual development in a number of ways:
Language
• Always look at your child when talking to
her and use short, simple sentences.
• Listen to her when she is talking
• Encourage her to pretend play with her doll
or teddy to help her develop her linguistic and
creative development.
• When you are out with your child describe
things to her; for example "there is a big car",
"there is a white cat in the park'.
• Look at books with your child and point
out what the characters are doing.
• Expand on what your child says. For example,
if he says "banana" tell him: "bananas are good
to eat".
Color knowledge
• Teach your child about colors when doing
housework. For example, tell her you are "vacuuming
a red carpet" or "scrubbing the white basin" or
"cooking in a black pot".
• When dressing him, tell him the color of
his shirt or jeans or socks or shoes.
• Tell her about the colors outside - the
blue sky, the dog is black, the green grass, the
red and pink flowers and so on.