Accidents can happen despite all the efforts; it is
an inevitable part of potty learning. Threatening
or creating a fuss will only aggravate matters as
your child will only grow more resistant to learn.
Potty training accidents are mostly due to premature
potty learning although there are other reasons. There
are instances when despite having made substantial
progress the child still makes accidents. If the accidents
are happening too often i.e. with every other urination
or BM, then toilet training should be discontinued
for a while. Premature toilet training causes dirty
laundry and more dirty laundry!
How the bowel works..
• The role of the large
bowel is to eliminate undigested food and to reabsorb
water. Stool usually remains in the large bowel
for a day. After which the feces move down until
they reach the rectum. Most of the time the rectum
is empty; the urge to pass a motion is experienced
once the feces accumulates in this final section
of the bowel. The brain receives the signal if the
time is right to open the external sphincter for
the feces to pass through. The brain can also prevent
BM by causing the external sphincter to remain closed.
• Until your child reaches toddlerhood, she
will not be in control of her bowel movements. Around
the age 18 months to 24 months, the voluntary nerve
pathways that link the brain to the sphincter become
well established allowing your child to feel the
sensation to pass a bowel movement. Prior to this
defecation is uncontrolled, occurring whenever the
receptors of the rectum trigger the internal sphincter
to open. Your child with time learns to keep the
external sphincter closed and subdue the urge until
making it to the potty.
• Bowel movement is generally attained before
bladder control as urination is more urgent and
immediate. Accidents are a rarity once bowel control
is attained and a child is a regular toilet user.
• Stress due to change in environment e.g. a
new sibling, a new playschool etc can cause accidents
in children who are already potty-trained.
• Pressure caused by over-anxious parents can
be a put-off to the independent-minded child.
• Some toddlers have min-accidents because they
wait till the very last minute and/or are not quick
with taking off their pants.
• Some children don't want to grow up. They
wish to remain the 'baby' of the family and resist
using the potty since that would mean being grown
up.
• Toddlers are often prone to accidents when
they are very engrossed in an activity; they tend
to ignore the call
• Toddlers when excited often lose bladder control.
• Fatigued toddlers often do not have the energy
to deal with toileting skills; they tend to be cranky
and resort to babyish behavior and that includes refusing
to use the potty.
• Sometimes an infection (UTI) or other physical
problems can cause situations where the panties are
frequently a little wet, painful urination, the child
wets her panties after giggling or the child has a
weak urine flow.
PS: Problems outlined above can
be overcome and you can put your child back on track
after dealing with the causes. Gently remind your
'busy' child to visit the washroom, offer assurance
to your stressed out toddler, get an infection treated
or make sure your child is well rested before you
begin on toileting cues, are some examples.
Common concerns
My son seems terrified of flushing. Will this
affect his toilet learning?
Respect your child's fears. You can prevent his fear
from affecting the learning process. Keep in mind
that forcing him to face his fear will not help the
matter. For now let your child leave the washroom
and then flush; don't use the flush in his presence.
Gradually when he grows more accepting let him watch
you flush and then you will reach the point where
he will be ready to try pulling the lever himself.
Till then be patient. Your toddler probably feels
that he is losing a part of himself when he sees his
stool go down the drain. So give your toddler the
time to overcome this fear - its temporary.
How do we know when to switch to the regular
toilet?
Most toddlers feel secure in a low potty so wait until
your toddler shows some interest in switching over.
You can try nurturing this interest by having her
accompany you when you visit the washroom. Buy her
a child's seat that fits onto the regular toilet seat.
Occasionally check with your child if she would like
to try the regular toilet seat with her special seat
on. Get a step stool and place it in front of the
toilet to make the task less intimidating.
Our
child insists on a nappy for a BM but has no problem
with urination. Should we allow this?
For the time being it is best to go along with her
request. Making an issue of this now will lead to
constipation and of course power struggle. Offer your
child to use the potty when she wants to pass a motion
and if she refuses cooperate and allow her to use
the nappy. Without the pressure your toddler will
come around in good time, more so when she realizes
that all her friends don't use the nappy and its time
she gave it up too.
Our 2 year old son is not toilet trained yet
but we wish to enroll him in a preschool.
Check with the school if they have any issues with
your child not being trained yet. If they are not
willing to accept your son in nappies you could either
postpone his entry into preschool until he is toilet
trained or step up the toilet teaching yourself. If
you keep the pressure down and he is showing signs
of readiness, chances of your toddler acquiring the
toileting skills will improve within months. Do not
lay the condition that he cannot go to school unless
he is potty trained as you will put him off toilet
training and school as well.
My son has just learned to pee sitting down.
When is it a good time for him to start standing up?
don't rush him or you end up confusing him. Let him
sit down until his basic skills are well established.
Standing position can be tricky and it is best learned
from an adult male figure; get his dad to teach him.
He will be required to direct the flow of urine into
the toilet bowl. don't teach him to do this using
his potty or you will end up with a mess; let him
become comfortable with using the big toilet before
trying to teach him this method. You can expect some
of the flow to miss the mark and it will take plenty
of practice and time - probably a year or more. Be
patient and praise him in his efforts in the meantime.
Did you know..
• Summer is the best time
to toilet-train your toddler. Toddlers who are lightly
dressed have a better chance at making it to the
potty in time than one who is wearing layers of
clothes during the colder months. Having said that,
season plays a smaller role in comparison to toddler
readiness. If your toddler is ready to learn in
the winter months, ensure a warm temperature in
the house to allow minimum clothing so that the
success rate in not compromised.
• Hygiene can be taught alongside potty training
to ensure your child starts on a lifetime of good
bathroom hygiene. Teach girls to wipe from front
to back to prevent the transfer of bacteria from
the anus into the vaginal area. Encourage gentle
wiping to prevent irritation to skin. Hand washing
should be introduced in the potty routine. Even
if you do the cleaning up encourage your toddler
to wash hands so that by the time your child is
old enough to clean himself, hand washing will have
become a habit.
