Tantrums occur for two reasons: your toddler knows that a certain behavior will evoke reactions from the parent and secondly he throws tantrums to manipulate others so that he gets his way. Some techniques to minimize tantrums include:



a) The first thing you should do is to analyze how your child is going to benefit from this behavior, does her behavior get you all worked up, nervous or agitated. If yes, ignore the behavior. In fact from the very beginning, ignore such behavior so that you do not reinforce such negative actions by paying heed to what is going on, and then sometimes inadvertently give in. By ignoring the tantrum, there will be no audience and the tantrum will stop!





b) The use of distraction is another good tool. Try music, jumping, singing a song or dancing or anything you can think of to distract your child (usually this involves on the spot thinking) and sort of nip the tantrum in the bud before a mini explosion takes place.





c) Find ways to keep your cool. It is important for your child to see you calm and therefore feel his whole world is still in 'one-piece' and not falling apart just because he is losing it.





d) Give your child more control: when you are helpless, you are likely to whine, and this also applies to little people. A good tactic will be to offer her two choices and then ask her to choose an option. This way you are helping her to make decisions and allowing her to do things herself thereby making her feel 'independent'.





e) Don't talk to me when you are whining: Explain to your child that it is difficult to understand what she is saying when she is whining. "I like it better when you talk to me in your big-girl voice (or nice voice etc)," or you can lighten the mood by asking your child to tell his problem in a song or a whisper or in a robot tone, thereby distracting your child from using a whining tone.